Slowing Down Life!
With so
much to do, so many places to go!
So many
people to please!
Is it
possible to slow down time while running breathlessly?
Selma had
put the tea in the cup, but she couldn't drink it as usual. "It's cold again!" she said
angrily. She looked at the clock, she had better put the clothes in their
places before she left. Everything was everywhere. "How can this house be so messy so quickly!" she thought.
She had
lots of errands to run. She was going to go shopping, visit her mother to make
her happy... Because if she doesn't visit her for two days, she would get
upset. She has to stop by her children's school to speak with their teachers…
and of course she can’t forget to cook dinner. "Oh, one doesn't like what the other eats, the other doesn't like
what the other eats!" she said.
Most of the
time she felt like she was on a treadmill. "How
does everyone keep up with everything? All this running around and nothing to
show for it! And you still can't make anyone happy."
She was
halfway through the day when she knocked on her mother's door. Her mother was
sitting comfortably on the sofa watching the news. On the news there were
people running around, just like her. Who and what were we catching up to?
- Mum, what
are we catching up to? she asked helplesly.
- What
happened, do you have somewhere to go? Did you just came to say hi?
- Oh mum... I wish we had time to be together all day, but
I can't catch up to anything.
- What is
wrong? You are all over the place. In our time there weren't this many
household appliances and machines to help us, but I used to get everything
done. I even found time for lacemaking.
- My dear
mother, how did you have time to do all that stuff? We talked to Hüsnü
yesterday and he said, "Don't look
at the old times, there was no technology then and life was not so fast. We
have to keep up with that speed." I don't know, do you think this much
speed is necessary? I often think, "What good does it bring?
- Of
course, it has more harm than benefits. You run after very unnecessary things
and don’t simplify your life. You run without knowing what you're doing and why
you're doing the things you’re doing. Look at the news, no one thinks about
what they’re doing. Real news are brushed over. No one cares about children
getting murdered or homeless people. We were not like this, we didn't have as
many opportunities as you did, but we were happy. Now everyone is angry,
everyone is unhappy.
- But why
is it like this?
- I don't
know, you live like everyone else do, that's the way it is.
"Like
everyone else!" I guess that was the magic word. Could something be right
just because everyone else is doing it? Or just because it was normalized? Was
it right or necessary? There were so many untrue sentences in life that started
with "in these times..."
● In these
times you can’t even buy a house without a mortgage.
● Is it possible to do politics without lying? Not in these times.
● Is there
anyone doing honest business in these times?
● In these
times, no child does housework.
● In these
times, everyone works hard, no one wants to spend time on housework.
● No one
gets through school without having a private tutor in these times.
● Is there
a spouse who does not cheat in these times?
● Is there
a house without a television in these times?
● Video
gaming is part of our lives in these days?
In these
times, in these times... Everyone accepted these as truth, but was it right? We
become unresponsive to what we normalize. Contrary to that, we are responsive
to the things we don't come across very often, that is, to the things that are
abnormal.
The Experiential Design Teaching says: "One should design their
reactions according to right and
wrong."
Right and
wrong do not change from person to person. There is no "era" of right and wrong. Lying is
wrong in every era, interest, deception is always wrong. It doesn't become
right when people do it, and it should not be something to be ignored. So,
which wrongs have we normalized and are unresponsive to? Or what do we take
into our lives that are normalized? Are our must-haves really a necessity? Can
we live without these things? Maybe they are not so necessary. If only we could
review our lives. If only we could realize that the cause of all our problems
is to act without thinking thoroughly.
If only we could see the damage that living by rote does to us.
What are
the things that we do just because everyone else does it? What do we buy just
because everyone else has it?
When we
burden ourselves with so many things, can we carry anything else in life?
What are we missing out on when we try to catch up?
While thinking about these things, her mother
said, "If you had time, we would
visit your father's grave. We haven't been there for a long time."
Selma hesitated for a moment. "Come
on mum, get dressed and let's go visit dad. We’ll buy some ice cream on the way
back." Her mum was surprised. "But do you have dinner ready for tonight?" she asked. Selma
said, "Let them have eggs with
potatoes tonight."
The more
people think and examine life, the more they gain the opportunity to react and
answer closer to the truth.
People want to do whatever they normalize and
set their minds to. However, they need to find out why they want what they want. They say, “If you run after two hares
you will catch neither”. Sometimes people try to catch dozens of hares. If we
want to slow down life, we need to know exactly what we want and why we
want it.
Experiential Design Teaching is a knowledge community that produces strategies for
designing our future based on past experiences.
The "Who is Who", "Mastery in Relationships" and "Success
Psychology" Seminar Programs offer the needed methods for those
who want to be happy and successful in life by solving their problems and
achieving their goals.
"There is only one thing in life that never can
be discovered; The better one..."
Yahya Hamurcu
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