Pearl

Pearl

“Pearllll… Come on sweetheart, time to get up…

You’re going to be late for school.

You stay up all night and then don’t want to get out of bed in the morning.

Look, I made your favorite, omelette.

Come on now, breakfast is ready…”

It was the same thing everyday. Pearl was the only daughter of a couple who had long given up hope of having children. She was the apple of her parents’ eyes, and even her grandparents’. Naturally, her being adorable played a part. The whole family seemed to revolve around her. Whatever she wanted, she got.

 “If my precious girl wants it, how could I say no?” her father would say. They were a well-off family, and Pearl had been pampered from the very beginning. If her wishes weren’t granted, she’d make quite the fuss. At a very young age, she had already learned how to manage her parents.

With all that comfort around her, how could anyone expect her to just get up and go to school? Whenever she didn’t feel like going, she’d come up with all sorts of excuses. Sometimes she’d claim her stomach hurt, other times she’d complain about her friends. It took her ages to get ready and leave the house.

Neither her mother nor her father had yet realized the harm they were causing. Pearl was growing up in comfort, yes—but she was also growing more unhappy by the day. If things continued this way, would they ever be able to prepare her for life?

They had fallen into the same trap many parents do. Sadly, they didn’t even realize it. By granting her every wish and never saying “no,” they were slowly weakening her. The more they gave, the less content she became. She didn’t know how to be pleased with what she had—she always wanted more.

What shapes and matures a person are the responsibilities they take on throughout life. Can someone who always gets what they want ever truly accomplish something?

The Experiential Design Teaching says: “A person’s strengthand happiness come not from the comfort and advantages they receive, but from the responsibilities they shoulder and the determination they show when faced with challenges.”

Think of a living being that creates a pearl from grains of sand and dust that enter its shell. That creature is the oyster. When foreign particles enter the oyster’s shell, they irritate its soft inner tissues. As a defense, the oyster begins to secrete a substance known as nacre, or mother-of-pearl. Over time, this secretion coats the irritant. Sometimes this process takes years—and eventually, the beautiful pearl we see in jewelry is formed. The more layers a pearl has, the more valuable it becomes. Creating a pearl is a painstaking process.

Just like the oyster, humans encounter many difficulties in life. The strength to turn those troubles into pearls lies within us. Each pearl may look similar on the outside, but no two are exactly the same. Just as freshwater and saltwater pearls differ, so do people—similar on the surface, yet unique in their details.

What shapes a person and makes them unique is not the privileges they are given, but what they manage to do despite their circumstances. If we want to raise our children like pearls, we need to entrust them with responsibilities—within their capacity. Providing support and guidance, rather than acceding to every demand, proves to be more beneficial. By taking on responsibility, they gradually uncover their inner nacre. Only then can the tiny grains of sand and dust start transforming into precious pearls.

To raise children like pearls, Let’s begin… with a small responsibility.

Experiential Design Teaching is a knowledge community that produces strategies for designing our future based on past experiences.

The "Who is Who", "Mastery in Relationships" and "Success Psychology" Seminar Programs offer the needed methods for those who want to be happy and successful in life by solving their problems and achieving their goals.

"There is only one thing in life that never can be discovered; The better one..."

Yahya Hamurcu