Memo’s Diary Series -1
Goodness is only repaid with goodness

Sinem had been working at a health sciences university for many years. She had a successful career and truly loved her job. Her life had been mostly uneventful, with little room for major changes. She commuted between her home and workplace, avoiding big risks. Although she occasionally went on short trips, her free time was usually spent on hobbies or nature walks. Her life was quiet, steady, and routine. In the prime of her life, she was living the life she had envisioned.

The mistakes of youth were far behind her, lessons learned through trial and error, though she had missed out on much along the way. She was only now beginning to understand herself, almost free from the societal pressures of "You must live as we say." She avoided watching unhelpful news and stayed away from people’s negative stories. Having grown up in a family and society that preached perfection, she now focused instead on her work, her goals, and her inner peace. In the process, she had uncovered a profound truth: Goodness is only repaid with goodness."

One seemingly ordinary morning, her university announced a partnership with a humanitarian aid foundation. The initiative was called the "Goodness Pact”. At first, Sinem didn’t quite understand what it was about. Soon, she learned that a group from the university would be traveling on a trip called "Beyond Borders" to visit war-affected individuals near the Hatay border via Antep.

The idea intrigued her—it wasn’t just any trip; it had a purpose. She would see things she had never seen before and gain new experiences. She felt a twinge of excitement and immediately signed up to join the group.

Weeks later, on a rainy morning, the journey began. Sinem felt something she couldn’t quite put into words. Was it curiosity? Perhaps, but it was more than that. She read, wrote, and even dozed off on the way to Hatay. To her surprise, she found joy in the journey itself—something she hadn’t experienced in a long time. Though her back ached from the long ride, her eagerness to see what awaited her dulled the discomfort.

And the project’s name? How fitting: "Goodness."

In the chaos of life, how often do we focus on goodness? The small acts of kindness she practiced—helping stray animals, obeying traffic rules, donating to a charity box, supporting her family—were all good deeds. But were they enough? Didn’t she have the potential to do more? The foundation had come to their university for a reason. These thoughts swirled in her mind as they reached their destination. Stepping out of the bus, Sinem gazed around with wide eyes, feeling as if she had entered a foreign land. Guided by the group leader, they made their way to a building—a shelter for orphaned children.

There were those abandoned at birth in hospitals, those left behind due to extreme poverty, and even orphans brought from other countries. Their stories were astonishing, each one a testament to resilience. Sinem didn’t know where to look or what to feel sorrow for. The place seemed like a different world, where time had frozen, and her consciousness had shifted.

The children, so innocent and pure, approached her with loving eyes, seeking nothing but a little attention. A bit of love—that’s all they wanted. Their basic needs were met in some way, but what about their emotional needs? Who would stroke their heads, be called “mom,” or provide a comforting shoulder to cry on? How would they meet such needs? Like all humans, they were born good, but could they remain good under such circumstances?

Sinem wanted to help them all, to take them with her, but it was impossible. Leaving the facility at the end of the visit was painful. On her way home, she realized she could never be the same Sinem again.

Back in Istanbul, the sights and stories from the border haunted her. Those innocent, orphaned, kind-hearted children were ever-present in her thoughts.

When the weekend ended, Sinem returned to work. She hurried to her office, hiding her tired eyes behind glasses. Sipping her coffee and gazing at the bustling students and the shining sun outside, her mind refused to let go of what she had seen.

Could she become a foster parent?

Her mind filled with doubts.

·       What if the child’s biological family came back one day?

·       What if the child grew up and wanted to search for their parents?

·       What if I can’t handle the responsibility?

·       Can I afford it?

·       With my elderly parents needing me, do I really have room for this?

The goodness she felt clashed with a heavy sense of hesitation. Why was it so difficult to give meaning to another life, to fulfill someone’s needs? Every question brought with it another.

Determined to find answers, Sinem reached out to a wise, trusted friend, hoping for support. Instead, she was met with unexpected negativity. Her friend spoke of the challenges, risks, and pitfalls of foster parenting, making it seem more like a burden than a blessing.

Could she truly become a foster parent?

The questions didn’t stop. But deep down, Sinem knew she had to figure it out.

The Experiential Design Teaching says: “Even the worstdecision is better than indecision.”

So, what would Sinem’s decision be?

 

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