Who Doesn't Like Surprise
 

Mrs. Hafize's phone was ringing, she was waiting for a guest

“Necla, my darling, they've left the house, they'll be here any minute, take another check in the bathroom, will you?”

“Ok mom, will do soonest…”

“Not sooner, now!... I told they are on the way!”

“Mr. Ahmet, throw out the garbage in the kitchen, now, come on, come on... Why are you so relaxed? Get up!”

Mrs. Hafize's daughters were used to her mother. They could tell by their mother's nervousness that guests were coming to their house. Whenever she cleaned in a hurry, they would ask, “Is there a guest coming?” Her husband would also get his share of this tension. He could not find a place to sit in the big house.

“Mr. Ahmet, get up, I'll sweep the room.”

“The socket in the kitchen is loose.”

“The light bulb in the hallway is out, please change it Mr. Ahmet.”

"The windows in the living room are all stained from the rain. Could you wipe them down? It would be a shame if they see them like that."

Ahmet Bey could not understand why his wife of many years was in such a hurry.

" My wife, calm down, don't act like they are coming to demand the girls... Who will see the rain stain on the window, what's the tension?"

Mrs. Hafize's face was red with heat and excitement. She got dressed and went to the kitchen to put the food on the serving plates. She was still panic whenever a guest came through all years. She made preparations in advance so that everything would be just right. She would decide a week in advance what she would serve. The day before, she would prepare everything and leave nothing for the last day.

This time their guests had announced their arrival in the afternoon.

“Don't cook anything, we just want to see you.”

But it wouldn't be like that, to do nothing!

Mr. Ahmet said, "They can eat what we eat, dear. A guest can also come in the door. It's more sincere that way. You offer whatever you have at home. A cup of tea and that's it. And don't overdo the cleaning, everything is clean anyway. Of course the place will get messy sometimes. Just tell the girls to put the laundry away and sweep the floor. You tire yourself too much." 

Hafize Hanım would be very angry that Ahmet Bey thought like that.

“These men have no manners,” she used to think. In fact, in the past, she had even sulked at her husband for inviting guests at the last minute and had not spoken to him for days.

But Mr. Ahmet didn't want to alarm her. He wanted it to be a surprise. But then again, Mrs. Hafize didn't like surprises either. 

The Experiential Design Teaching says: "People are different and diverse. What some of us like, others find unpleasant."

 

Just like when we look at trees from the outside, they look similar, but when we go into detail, they become different. Some give fruit, some don't. Some of these fruits are sour, some sweet. This diversity adds richness to life. It is also the case that people are different from each other. While some of us like surprises, some of us don't like them at all. Some of us perceive life more easily, while others take it very seriously. When we don't know our differences, we may be disturbed by someone's behavior that is different from ours. We say, “He is doing it out of spite”. Thus, even if the reason for the argument is very simple, the reactions we give to each other afterwards turn it into a fight.

Thus, people cannot manage their differences that cause arguments and tie a knot in their relationships. They may even see their spouse, child, neighbor or boss in the same house as an enemy.

However, when we accept that those around us are different from us, it becomes easier to understand them. We can be less angry, less tense, but more understanding.

Experiential Design Teaching is a knowledge community that produces strategies for designing our future based on past experiences.

The "Who is Who", "Mastery in Relationships" and "Success Psychology" Seminar Programs offer the needed methods for those who want to be happy and successful in life by solving their problems and achieving their goals.

"There is only one thing in life that never can be discovered; The better one..."

Yahya Hamurcu